Pooh Corner

So, the other day I was driving to work. It was the day after Valentines day and I was glad for the upcoming distraction of work and I have to say I was a little amazed that I had “survived” another momentous reminder of Noahs death. I say death now. It was of course his birthday yesterday.

Quickly I zipped into the passing lane at exit 2 on the mid cape highway as a stream of traffic pulled out unexpectedly on my right and  I adjusted my speed and shortly after my radio dial.  I was actually comforted to hear an old song that immediately reminded me of my first son Chris when he was a baby. It was the simple/complicated House on Pooh Corner ballad that should be a gentle song for children. It probably was then. But not this Friday. Not the day after February 14th.

“ But I ‘ve wandered much further today than I should and I can’t seem to find my way back to the wood” (Oak Street).

I am 72 miles an hour back to my son missing in the woods. He is my child. He is lost. And when we find him, I will be lost.

We find him. I know he is in Heaven because he talked to God a lot and asked to be there.

The song goes on:

“It’s hard to explain how a few precious things seem to follow throughout all our lives. After all’s said and done I was watching my son sleeping there with the bear by his side. So I tucked him in, kissed him and as I was going, I swear that old bear ( God) whispered “boy welcome home.”                               Loggins &Messina

So help me if you can because I have to get through the rest of this too. This complicated daily existence called life which carries all the same beauty conversation and metaphor that keeps us all clinging to what we know. While half my heart stays here with the ones I love, the other is awaiting the promised treasures beyond where we do find our old worn teddy bears, paper dolls, painted wagons, & ballet slippers. Where  sidewalk chalk leads us in pastel colors to our loved ones. Forever.